I don’t know what I would have done if anybody’d told me I’d feel this way once I had a baby. It’s quite unlike anything I had ever felt before. The little person you hold in your arms seems to be the cutest, most clever and, for me, since I do consider being funny an admirable trait, funniest baby ever known. I suddenly develop an empathy with all the other young mothers I know who have eyes and ears only for their children and of course now I understand why a mother will do anything for her baby. The reason I rarely write about it is partly because I wouldn’t know how to describe how it feels and also because it would be nothing unique. Every mom since the dawn of time experienced this since the first time funny little cave babies toddled out from the mouth of the cave covered in their fur coats trying not to fall as they follow mom around. And who could forget the determined little faces as they tried to “help” dad skin the saber-tooth.
What is certainly new to me is the way this little person turned my world over. I used to be so self-absorbed. I was a loner who could get lost in the world of books or computer games for hours at a time. I answered to no one and no one answered to me and I could come and go as I please. Now, I have to set aside my books if the little tyke demands that she wants to read with Mama and the soldiers in my strategy game would have to get their orders somewhere else while I was busy with the little general bouncing on my knee. And yet, I don’t regret all the time I lost for cuddling myself if I have to spend them with my daughter. And while I may feel silly dancing and bouncing around the playroom with Lewie, it is my greatest hope that my little daughter will have a font of great memories she has shared with Mama. As she would say with a satisfied sigh, “best friend si Mama, si Lewie”, may I be someone she can always depend on to provide for her needs and someone she could consider a friend.
